


Dark Purpose

by DarkJedi10



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark Rey, F/M, Kylo is a cocky bastard, POV First Person, REALLY tempted, Rey is no cinnamon roll, Rey is really confused, She is tempted, The force made her do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJedi10/pseuds/DarkJedi10
Summary: In search of answers and under the guidance of Master Luke, Rey calls on the Force for the first time in her life. But the Force has other ideas and  takes her on a short trip down memory lane, forcing her to confront the beast within.





	Dark Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> This might not make sense. But we're going inside Rey's brain after the events of TFA so...... ;)

"Breathe"

Luke Skywalker's voice lulls me into meditation.

"Just breathe"

So I breathe.

Then I feel it.

The Force.

I feel it as a warm energy, flowing around me and in me, comforting and familiar, as if it's always been there.

"Now, reach out"

So I reach

And I feel as if I am back on Jakku, reaching for my meager daily portions like a desperate child reaching for its mother. Hungry, greedy.

_No,_ I say to myself,  _I must be calm, I must be composed_

Too late

The Force is turning on me. An edge of darkness. I can see it and I can see myself now, my reflection. I open my eyes and then close them again. My reflection is still there, as if it burned into my eyelids

Is this the Force's doing? Is it trying to tell me something?

My reflection starts to melt before me and suddenly I cannot think clearly. I am growing, changing and the pain is unbearable but I can't cry out. In desperation I open my eyes again and see nothing but the suffocating darkness surrounding me. Slowly, I shut them.

There he is

My nightmare.

His smile is beautifully cruel and his eyes piercing, full of something. Something I can't name. I can't say.  
  
The distant sound of waves crashing into the rock face suddenly seems closer and I feel a wave of that familiar warm energy running up my spine and fill my breast. But I am shivering.  
  
_He is me and I am him._

As the realization dawns on me, I feel as if the cold stone walls of the dingy cramped hut are slowly closing in.

_We are a part of each other. Bound together forever by the will of the force._

Outside, a roar and the sound of thunder rolling over the sanctuary of the tiny island.

A storm is coming

_But I hate him._

I scream inwardly

_I hate him_

...and yet... I want him.

Suddenly, the reflection is gone.

Its just me now and I feel the shameful pangs of desire. I'm left alone and hating myself, hating myself for wanting that feeling I know only he can give me. Because I never understood how good anger could feel, until our paths crossed in that lush green forest.

No...our paths did not cross. They collided.  
My memory of that beautiful place is now marred forever by his shadow. Takodana is now nothing but a green blur.

_Why must he ruin everything?_

My mind wanders to another place. Tall black trees and thick white snow.  
It's almost as if the Force is edging me on, coaxing me to relive that moment. And I can hear him, his panting, his growling. He is truly a monster, an animal, a dark creature sent to lure me away from my true destiny.

_But then so am I._

He has done this to me. He has made me into a beast. To prowl along the edge of his mind, teeth bared, ready to strike, to bite, to drive him from his path and his calling.

  
_Yes! Harder!_

  
I can taste the power now, the exhilaration...and a fleeting moment of ecstasy as my hot blade slices across him and through his skin, once as smooth as marble and now no more. I catch a glimpse of his bare shoulder. My breath hitches.

  
I want that again.

  
I want him at my mercy again.

  
But am _I_ the slave? Have I become a slave to my own hatred? Is that what's poisoning me with this dark purpose?

I grit my teeth.

_No, my anger is just. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to make him pay. I just want to look into those dark eyes one more time and drive my saber through his wicked heart..._

  
I breathe in, deeply as my memory switches from the snowy dark forest, from the haze of dancing sparks, to darker surroundings. Something cold and metallic. But the eyes are the same...and now that heated gaze is roaming over my body and his sweet, warm breath is caressing my neck, making my pulse race. 

  
"Rey" A calm yet stern voice speaks to me, cutting through the pitch blackness so that I am pulled from my dark fantasy.

The voice spoke again

"Gather your thoughts, control your emotions. Otherwise I cannot help you"

I feel a warm blush creeping up my neck

"Yes Master Luke"

The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop myself, before I even have a chance to compose myself. To my shame, I am breathless.

_No...no one must ever know... Master Luke doesn’t know,_ I console myself. _He can't know. He only feels my agitation, but he cannot know my thoughts._

"Rey, tell me, what do you see?"

I take another deep breath

"Light"

I hear my voice as if it were someone elses.

"Darkness"

Outside, there is a sudden deafening noise, a crack, as if from a massive whip and the ground shakes ever so gently.

_So, that must be lightening_.

I sigh, and when I speak again, my traitorous voice is soft and calm, betraying my desires and the conflict within

"A balance"

My shame grows within me.

There will be no balance, for there is no balance without the Jedi

And I am no Jedi.

I can never be.

 


End file.
